Blogging does not come naturally for me; I love sharing my experiences. I
do have a lot of thoughts in my mind which is the basis in order for me
to be a blogger. It’s just getting these thoughts from my head to the
computer and my busy life that seems to hinder me. But I have been
motivated and encouraged recently to intensify this blog and share some
current thoughts.
I would like to share some thoughts about Family Relationship.
I realize that parenting is a process and that each of us has problems that we are working on in our families. The big problems do not just go away and the small matters only get bigger. And believe me, there are no perfect families. One of the most difficult matters to confront with respect to family relationships is that you don't control the entire relationship yourself. Whether the relationship thrives or weakens isn't up to you alone. As the saying goes, "it takes two to tango".
When problems are encountered, it's common to attempt to a control strategy. You try to get the other person to change. Sometimes this approach works, especially if your request and the other person are both reasonable. But many times it just leads to frustration. On the other hand, If you can't change the other person, maybe you should just accept them as they are and learn to compromise, this sometimes works, but this one can also lead to frustration and even resentment if your needs aren't being met.
This is my struggle with my wife, we argue and disagree in many things. Changing and accepting each other are both unworkable for us. We have learned through process that instead of changing and accepting each other, we need to change ourselves in a way that solves the problem. An internal way of viewing relationship problems is that we reflect back to a part of ourselves that we dislike. If you have a negative external relationship situation, it is a reflection of a conflict in your own thinking. As long as you keep looking outside yourself for the answer, you may never resolve the external problem. Looking inside yourself for the problem, it may become easier to solve.
I love my parents and siblings unconditionally (I have 2 brothers and 2 sister). However, I haven't had a strong relationship with any of them. We had some conflicts, misunderstandings, and we just couldn't find the basic formula to form a common bond. I don't recall anyone in my family ever saying " I Love You" while I grew up, but with my wife I'm very affectionate and strive to tell her I love them every time.
Even though this is the family I grew up with and despite all these differences, we're all on good terms with each other and get along fairly well, but our differences create such big gap that we have to settle for being independent. My way of dealing with my family situation is to broaden my definition of family. My wife and I have a strong commitment to doing good for our family as best we can.
Often life is about living and learning. Sometimes through the school of hard blows, sometimes thorough the wisdom we find in the bible, and sometimes through the counsel of others who have learned from their experiences. We never stop learning. Each new stage of being a person brings its challenges and every individual has their strengths and weaknesses.
One thing I have learned over the years in my life is all about RELATIONSHIPS. It is God the Father who planned it that way. Starting with a relationship with Him, and then with those around us. Do you have relationship with God? When first hearing such a phrase, any person will ask how someone is supposed to have a "relationship" with a being they have never met, can not see, and have not heard. As always, the Bible provides a clear answer. In case you were wondering, I trust the Bible because it is the only "spiritual writing" that has been proven to be true.
Often I have made assumptions about my relationships and have thought that because everything seems to be going well from what I can see and sense, that everything is well. And many times that has been the furthest thing from the truth. Relationships are WORK! And unless you are REALLY working on your relationships then you probably do not have sincere relationships in your life and with God.
I would like to share some thoughts about Family Relationship.
I realize that parenting is a process and that each of us has problems that we are working on in our families. The big problems do not just go away and the small matters only get bigger. And believe me, there are no perfect families. One of the most difficult matters to confront with respect to family relationships is that you don't control the entire relationship yourself. Whether the relationship thrives or weakens isn't up to you alone. As the saying goes, "it takes two to tango".
When problems are encountered, it's common to attempt to a control strategy. You try to get the other person to change. Sometimes this approach works, especially if your request and the other person are both reasonable. But many times it just leads to frustration. On the other hand, If you can't change the other person, maybe you should just accept them as they are and learn to compromise, this sometimes works, but this one can also lead to frustration and even resentment if your needs aren't being met.
This is my struggle with my wife, we argue and disagree in many things. Changing and accepting each other are both unworkable for us. We have learned through process that instead of changing and accepting each other, we need to change ourselves in a way that solves the problem. An internal way of viewing relationship problems is that we reflect back to a part of ourselves that we dislike. If you have a negative external relationship situation, it is a reflection of a conflict in your own thinking. As long as you keep looking outside yourself for the answer, you may never resolve the external problem. Looking inside yourself for the problem, it may become easier to solve.
I love my parents and siblings unconditionally (I have 2 brothers and 2 sister). However, I haven't had a strong relationship with any of them. We had some conflicts, misunderstandings, and we just couldn't find the basic formula to form a common bond. I don't recall anyone in my family ever saying " I Love You" while I grew up, but with my wife I'm very affectionate and strive to tell her I love them every time.
Even though this is the family I grew up with and despite all these differences, we're all on good terms with each other and get along fairly well, but our differences create such big gap that we have to settle for being independent. My way of dealing with my family situation is to broaden my definition of family. My wife and I have a strong commitment to doing good for our family as best we can.
Often life is about living and learning. Sometimes through the school of hard blows, sometimes thorough the wisdom we find in the bible, and sometimes through the counsel of others who have learned from their experiences. We never stop learning. Each new stage of being a person brings its challenges and every individual has their strengths and weaknesses.
One thing I have learned over the years in my life is all about RELATIONSHIPS. It is God the Father who planned it that way. Starting with a relationship with Him, and then with those around us. Do you have relationship with God? When first hearing such a phrase, any person will ask how someone is supposed to have a "relationship" with a being they have never met, can not see, and have not heard. As always, the Bible provides a clear answer. In case you were wondering, I trust the Bible because it is the only "spiritual writing" that has been proven to be true.
Often I have made assumptions about my relationships and have thought that because everything seems to be going well from what I can see and sense, that everything is well. And many times that has been the furthest thing from the truth. Relationships are WORK! And unless you are REALLY working on your relationships then you probably do not have sincere relationships in your life and with God.
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