The scripture say that God designed and created marriage as
a good thing. It is a beautiful, price-less gift. He uses marriage to help us
eliminate loneliness, multiply our effectiveness, establish families, raise
children, enjoy life, and bless us with relational intimacy. But beyond this,
marriage also shows us our need to grow and deal with our own issues and
self-centeredness through the help of a lifelong partner.
Love is Patient
I do believe that no marriage is successful without it. It
always does what is best for others and can empower us to face the greatest of
problems. Our hearts desperately need it like our lungs need oxygen. When you
chose to be patient, you respond to a negative situation, you are slow to
anger. Rather than being restless and
demanding, love helps you settle down and begin extending mercy to those around
you. Patience brings an internal calm during an external storm.
No one likes to be around an impatient person because it
causes to overreact in angry, foolish, and regrettable ways. Anger almost never
makes things better. In fact, it generates additional problems. But patience
stops problems in their track. More than biting your lips, more than clapping a
hand over your mouth, patience is a deep breath. It clears the air. It is a
choice to control your emotions rather than allowing your emotions to control
you, and shows discretion instead of returning evil for evil.
If anger is our emotional default when treated unfairly, we
are spreading poison rather than medicine. Anger is usually caused when the
strong desire for something is mixed with disappointments or grief. It is often
an emotional reaction that flows out of our own selfishness, foolishness, or
evil motives.
Patience, however, makes us wise. It doesn’t rush to
judgment but listens to what the other person is saying. The Bible says, “He that is slow to wrath is of great
understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly” (Proverbs 14:29).
Patience is where love meets wisdom. And every marriage needs that combination
to stay healthy. Patience helps you give your spouse permission to be human. It
understands that everyone fails. It chooses to give them more time than they
deserve to correct it. It gives you the ability to hold on during the tough
times in relationship rather than bailing out under the pressure.
During the first year of my marriage, we’ve been through a
lot of things. We fought, we argued, and even emotional and physically hurt
each other. There comes a time when we decided to separate because it is not
healthy relationship anymore. Then I began to realize and learn that first year
of marriage is all about adjustments. I decided to ask my wife for a second
chance, we moved out, we managed to live each other for a week without a fight.
But then things are getting worse and worse everyday. Until one day God uses my uncle and
challenged me to cling into the Lord. He
said “Bakit hindi kayo mag church? And ask God for forgiveness and guidance sa
relationship ninyo?” I was a non-believer that time. We went to church
(Catholic Church) and prayed hard. When
we got home, my wife asked me if we could go to their Church (QBBM) and she promised
that we go there only once. We went to QBBM the following Friday and I remember
how the holly spirit worked on me and how I was touched by the message. That’s
when I started knowing God and learning and applying His word. Six Months later, I accepted Jesus Christ as
my Lord and savior. Until then, God started to work in my marriage and in my
life, He blesses me in so many ways, He gave and entrusted me a wonderful
family. I have learned that God need to
be in the center of every marriage and every relationship, for every argument,
every fight, we should seek God first. Let Him be your mediator, let Him built
your marriage on the foundation of His love.
Few of us do
patience very well, and none of us do it naturally. When you and your spouse
are not getting along and can’t get past a particular argument or sticking
point, you can call a time out, drop your weapons and go to the Lord and pray.
It should become automatic action when you don’t know what else to do. Yes,
love agrees in prayer. It is hard not to back down when you are hearing your
spouse humbly cry out to God and beg Him mercy in the midst of your heated arguments
or crisis. In prayer, two people remember that God has made them one. And in
the grip of His uniting presence, disharmony blends into beauty.
When there is
intervention in prayer, even at high points or disagreement it stops the
bleeding. It quiets the loud voices. It pauses you as you realize whose
presence you’re in. Praying for your spouse leads your heart to care more
deeply about them. But more importantly, God is pleased when He sees you both
humbling yourselves and seeking His face together. His blessing falls on you
when you agree in prayer. But prayer is for a lot more than breaking up fights.
Prayer is a privilege to be enjoyed on a consistent, daily basis. God promised,
“I will never leave nor forsake you”. Marriage in the family is Gods idea and
therefore He is willing to work in your relationship.
Love is patient,
Love agrees in Prayer…
Two separate
notes played one at a time, sound different. They’re opposed to each other. But
play them at the same time and they can create a pleasing sense of harmony,
together they give fuller, more complete sound than either of them can make on
its own.
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